Web3 - just your typical post!

GrahamTheDev - Dec 6 '21 - - Dev Community

Ready to learn what web3 is? Great let's begin.

It is blockchain, NFTs etc.

This is the future of the web.

It solves all the problems with web development and if you don't know about web3 then you will not be able to get a job.

Learn web3 by building a NFT for no apparent reason or understanding the benefits, what it is useful for, where the problems are or anything of relevance at all!

Here it is in just one line of code (because we all know dependencies do not count towards lines of code or complexity):

import NFT_library_with_15000_lines_of_code_that_does_everything
import additional_library_for_no_reason

massive_library.make_NFT(asset);
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See now you know how blockchain works, it's easy right? Now you can add Web 3 to your CV.

Got questions?

Don't ask questions, web3 is so well thought out that there are no questions.

Just join the cult and prepare to make 6 figures a year!

Don't forget to tweet about it every 3 hours and to write an overpriced 5 page book that explains nothing so that new developers will buy it get a tiny bit of info and then buy your other crappy tutorials and guides. We all know that student developers have money to burn!

And don't forget, if anyone ever has the audacity to question you, just remember to tell them that they are "a dinosaur trying to stop the future of the web" and a boomer!

To sum up

I just taught you everything you need to know about NFTs and blockchain. Now you can go and build the future of the web.

But if you need more information then make sure to:

Buy my book on Gumroad. 5 pages of super useful information. Minimum price is $15 as I am worth $3 a page.

Follow me on Twitter I post every hour just to make sure you remember me.

Read my Blog - I just copy paste my twitter threads into blog posts. I don't bother to format them appropriately though so you can struggle to read them!

Buy my Course. 27 minutes on Web3 for $99, most of it is just me reading from Wikipedia for you so you know it is good value for money!

Don't miss out! I have exclusive web 3 merch to show you are awesome. $69 for a water bottle is a bargain! We all need merch to make us better developers.

Work with me. I know how to turn a successful application into a super expensive blockchain powered disaster today!

Buy me a coffee! - Please, I need coffee to keep coming up with variations of the same crap!

Support me on Patreon! - Only 0.25 ETH a month to support my crap! I will even put your name at the end of my videos so you can become famous!

Fund my KickStarter! We are using NFTs to prove ownership of NFTs, it's genius! You get a cheap T-shirt if you pledge $99!

Venmo Me! - just give me money to show your appreciation for my ability to copy paste content!

CashApp Me! - Give me 1 BTC and I will follow you back!

GIVE ME MONEY! (please, people are becoming aware of the hype so I don't have long to milk this crap).

The Giveaway

Of course I can't leave this post without a giveaway.

I am giving away a free eBook worth $99 (well that is the price I made up for it, it is actually worth about -$20 as it will waste 15 minutes of your valuable time!) to one lucky person.

All you have to do is:

  • retweet this crap and clutter up everyone's feed
  • Follow me so I can feed you more of this crap
  • Write a thousand word essay on how amazing I am
  • Hire a billboard in Time Square advertising my Web3 course.
  • Design a logo for my new site and transfer the copyright to me
  • Create a 15 minute video on all the things you wish you knew about NFTs and make sure you mention me at least 10 times as an expert in it.
  • Shave your left eyebrow on a live stream while reciting "NFTs are life, Blockchain is the future of everything".

How easy is that? Oh and you can do it multiple times for multiple entries...because I am a nice guy not because I need you to keep harassing people into thinking they have to know this shit.

Be cool my crypto cousins (or some other inane way to refer to you to make you feel a shred of belonging and make you think I care).


End

OK who rattled your cage this time angry man?

It all started a couple of weeks ago when Danny Thompson made a simple tweet "learn web2, get paid".

Most of the responses were people saying "did you mean web3" and that is just depressing.

It is also very worrying as majority of the people who follow Danny are new developers looking to get jobs / just starting out.

Then it got worse as it seemed that my twitter feed was rammed full of crap on Web3 that "explains things" by just linking to the same crap everyone else is quoting that explains nothing but shills some crappy book.

Then the final straw was a post I just saw in the DEV feed that contained about as much information as this post and claimed to be an "ultimate guide"...which sent me into angry man mode.

To be clear, I do love some of the things that Web3 will likely bring. I believe web3 will be part of the future, but it won't be the future.

I just don't want new developers to get consumed by web3 hype and lose focus on the stuff that will actually get them a job or buy crappy resources that offer no value.

p.s. I know i am writing troll stuff and cluttering the feed, just passing the time before I announce something big later today!

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