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I've been working at the same company for almost 8 years. I did my internship at the current company I work at and stayed there until now. It's a friend's company in which I've been an important part, I've helped it go forwards in bad times and have benefited in the good times.

I feel like I owe them something and feel really trapped. The company is fairly small and I'm the front-end lead and know how everything works in the company. I'm almost a partner, so I feel I have the responsibility to stay. Even when going on holiday they get stuck and can't move forwards, as there's no other person that can do my job.

The thing is that I feel a big pressure and I feel trapped because the company has done a lot of stuff for me and has treated me very well.

The thing is I don't necessarily want to leave the company, but I would like to feel like I could and that I would not be letting them down or whatever.

I've been wanting to do leave of absence for a while, but I fear leaving, as I feel I'm letting them down or something... it's really bizarre and I don't fully understand why I feel this way... I almost feel like I am in a cult or something and owe them everything...

Maybe you can shine a light and help me get my thoughts together...

Thanks in advance!